April 16: Afraid of What People Think

You sat in the meeting with something real to say, and when your turn came, you passed.

Fear of people is one of the quietest fears, and one of the strongest. It’s the fear of being judged, laughed at, rejected, seen as weak. For a lot of people, alcohol was the thing that made social life bearable. A couple of drinks and the fear went quiet.

Sober, the fear is right there. Your heart pounds when it’s your turn to share. You rehearse what you’ll say and then say nothing. You agree to things you don’t want so nobody gets upset.

Paul wrote to Timothy, a young pastor who seems to have struggled with timidity. He reminded him that God didn’t give a spirit of fear. He gave a spirit of power, love and self-control, a sound mind.

Notice that list. Power, so you can act. Love, so your actions come from caring about people rather than managing them. And a sound mind, so you can think clearly instead of being run by panic.

This fear belongs on your Step Four fear list. Write it plainly: afraid of what people think. Then ask the questions. Why do you have this fear? Where did it start? How has trying to manage everyone’s opinion of you worked out?

For many, the honest answer is: not well. Trying to please everyone means nobody gets the real you. It also means a lot of quiet resentment toward the people you were trying so hard to please.

Meetings are a good place to practice something different. You don’t need to give a speech. Next time, say one honest sentence. Your name, and one true thing about how you’re doing. People in that room have felt this fear too. Many of them will be glad you spoke.

One thing today

Add fear of people’s opinions to your fear list, with the reason behind it. At your next meeting, share one honest sentence, even a short one.

A prayer

Lord, I care too much about what people think of me. Thank You that You didn’t give me a spirit of fear. Give me power, love and a sound mind. Help me be honest even when my voice shakes. Amen.

This month’s step work: Step Four.

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