April 18: Honest About Sex and Relationships

This is the part of the inventory a lot of people would like to skip.

Drinking and sex were often tangled together. Things happened that you’d rather forget. Maybe things you did. Maybe things you allowed. Maybe a marriage you hurt, or a pattern you couldn’t break. Even thinking about it can make your face go hot.

Paul wrote to a church in Corinth, a city known for sexual excess. He didn’t scold them from a distance. He reminded them of something true and beautiful: your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. You were bought with a price. You belong to God.

That’s not a threat. It’s a statement of your worth. Your body matters to God so much that He paid for it with the life of His Son. That’s the starting place for this part of the inventory, not shame.

The sex conduct inventory is honest but simple. Look at your past relationships and conduct, and ask: where was I selfish? Where was I dishonest? Where was I inconsiderate? Whom did I hurt? Did I cause jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? What should I have done instead?

Write the facts, not the details. Names and short descriptions are enough. This isn’t about reliving anything. It’s about seeing the pattern clearly so it can change.

Then comes something hopeful. You start to shape an ideal. What kind of relationships do you want going forward? What would honor God, and honor the people you love? Write that down too.

A word of care: if something in your past was done to you, especially as a child or against your will, that is not your part. It doesn’t go in your fourth column. Talk with a pastor or counselor about it, alongside this step.

One thing today

Write a simple list of past relationships where you were selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate. Names and a few words only. Then write two sentences describing the kind of relationships you want from now on.

A prayer

Lord, there are things in this part of my life I’d rather not look at. Thank You that my body belongs to You and that I was bought with a price. Help me be honest without being crushed. Shape a new way in me. Amen.

More on the four inventories in Step Four.

Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free

Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+

After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).