April 25: Two Are Better Than One
You’ve been working on your inventory alone at the kitchen table, and lately it’s been hard to keep going.
“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
The writer of Ecclesiastes was a realist. He noticed that life alone is hard. If one person falls, a friend can help him up. But woe to the one who falls alone, with no one to lift him. Two people lying together can stay warm. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
Step Four is personal work. Nobody else can write your inventory. But that doesn’t mean you have to do it isolated. In fact, trying to do it alone is one of the main reasons people get stuck.
When you’re working by yourself, it’s easy to drift. To spiral into shame. To decide it’s too much and quietly put the notebook away. A sponsor, a friend in recovery, or a pastor can help in very practical ways. They can answer questions about the columns. They can tell you when you’re being too hard on yourself, or too easy. They can check in on how it’s going.
Many people find it helps to talk with their sponsor about the inventory once or twice a week while they’re working on it. Not to read it all aloud yet. That’s Step Five. Just to say how it’s going and where they’re stuck.
A threefold cord is often read as you, another person and God. That’s a strong rope.
Meetings help too. Hearing others talk about their own step work reminds you that you’re not the only one wrestling with this.
If you don’t have a sponsor yet, ask someone. Today. Or at least ask someone if you can call them while you work through this step.
And when it’s your turn, be that second person for someone else. Ask the newcomer how they’re doing. Return a call. Recovery works best as a circle of people lifting each other up.
One thing today
Call or text one person in recovery and tell them where you are in your inventory. Ask if you can check in with them again this week.
A prayer
God, I’ve been trying to do this alone. Thank You for the people You’ve put around me. Help me reach out, even when I’d rather hide. Be the third strand in the cord. Amen.
On working the inventory with support: Step Four.
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