April 5: Setting Down the Weight
You’ve got a list of names. Now comes the part where you write down what actually happened.
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
The writer of Hebrews pictures a race. Runners don’t carry backpacks. They strip off everything that slows them down. Then he says, lay aside every weight, and the sin that so easily entangles us, and run with patience, looking to Jesus.
Old resentments are weight. Some of them you’ve been hauling for twenty years. They’re so familiar you’ve stopped noticing how tired they make you.
The second column of your inventory is the cause. Next to each name, write down why you’re angry. Keep it short and factual. “Lied to me about the money.” “Never came to my games.” “Fired me in front of everyone.” “Said I’d never change.”
This column is not where you decide who was right. It’s not where you defend yourself either. It’s simply where you say what happened, as you remember it. Some causes will be serious. Some will look small once they’re on paper. Both are fine.
Something often happens in this column. You realize a few resentments have the same cause behind different names. Or that one name has five causes. That’s useful. It shows you the shape of what you’ve been carrying.
Writing the cause can stir up anger again. You might feel it in your stomach. Here’s where the second half of the verse matters. Look to Jesus. He endured the cross and despised its shame, and He’s seated now at the Father’s right hand. He knows what it is to be wronged. He isn’t asking you to pretend it didn’t hurt. He’s asking you to stop carrying it alone.
You won’t set down all the weight today. But every line you write makes the load a little lighter, because it’s no longer hidden in the dark of your own head.
One thing today
Take five names from your list and write the cause next to each. One short sentence apiece. Then stop, even if you want to keep going, and take a walk.
A prayer
Jesus, You know what it is to be hurt by people. I’ve been carrying these things a long time. Help me write them down honestly, and help me lay them at Your feet instead of picking them back up. Amen.
Keep going with Step Four.
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