January 16: When You Don't Know How to Pray

You sit down to pray, and nothing comes. Or the words come, and they feel hollow.

Paul is honest here. He says we don’t know how to pray as we ought. That’s the apostle Paul saying that. If he didn’t always know what to say to God, you’re in good company.

Then he tells us something remarkable. The Spirit helps us in our weakness. When we have no words, the Spirit prays for us with groanings too deep for words. In other words, your prayer doesn’t depend on getting the words right. Even a groan counts. Even a sigh. Even sitting there, stuck, is a kind of prayer that God hears.

Early sobriety can make prayer feel strange. Some people prayed a lot while drinking, mostly desperate bargains in the middle of the night. Some haven’t prayed in years. Some feel God is far away, or angry, or not there at all. Some feel so ashamed that praying feels like a fraud.

All of that is normal. None of it disqualifies you.

Step One gives you an honest prayer, if you want one. You can simply tell God what’s true. “I can’t stay away from the drink on my own. My life is a mess. I don’t know what to say to You.” That isn’t a failure of prayer. That’s an excellent prayer. It is the same honest admission the step asks for, spoken upward.

Prayer is more like a relationship than a performance. Some days in a relationship you have long talks. Some days you just sit in the same room. Both are real.

If you want structure, try short, regular prayers. One in the morning asking for help to stay sober today. One at night saying thank you. They don’t need to be long or beautiful. Many people find that the feelings come later, after the habit. You don’t have to wait to feel close to God before you start talking to Him.

One thing today

Set two short reminders on your phone, morning and night. When each one goes off, say one honest sentence to God. Nothing more is required.

A prayer

God, I don’t know how to pray right now. I’m going to be honest instead. Help me. I need You. Thank You that Your Spirit prays for me when I can’t.

The plain honesty of Step One works in prayer, too.

Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free

Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.

Download on theApp Store Get it onGoogle Play

Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+

After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).