January 26: From the Belly of the Fish

You didn’t plan to end up here. Nobody plans the bottom.

Jonah’s story is mostly about running. God told him to go one way, and he bought a ticket the other way. He slept through the storm his running caused. He was thrown overboard. And then he was swallowed and spent three days in the dark, inside a fish, as far down as a person could go.

That’s where he prayed. Not on the boat. Not when things were going his way. From the belly of the fish.

His prayer is simple. I called because of my affliction, and God answered me. I cried out from the depths, and You heard my voice.

Many people in recovery talk about a bottom. It looks different for everyone. For some it’s an arrest or a hospital bed. For others it’s a look on a child’s face, or a morning when they can’t remember how they got home. Some people’s bottoms look fine from the outside. What makes it a bottom isn’t how dramatic it is. It’s the moment you stop believing you can manage this yourself.

Jonah’s bottom was that moment. All his running had led to a place he couldn’t run from. And there, finally, he turned toward God.

You may be in a dark place today. The consequences of drinking may be piling up. It may feel like you’ve gone too far, like God couldn’t possibly hear a prayer from here. Jonah’s story says otherwise. He was literally as far from God’s will as he could get, and God heard him from there.

You don’t have to wait for things to get worse, either. Some people talk about raising the bottom: choosing to stop digging before you hit the next level down. Admitting the truth today, before the next loss, is a kind of mercy to yourself.

Wherever you are, the depths are not too deep for God to hear.

One thing today

Pray from exactly where you are. Don’t clean it up. Tell God the plain truth about how low it’s gotten. Then tell one person.

A prayer

Lord, I ran from You and ended up in the dark. I’m calling to You from here. You heard Jonah. Please hear me, and bring me up.

This is where Step One often starts.

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