July 8: When Old Defects Come Back
You asked God last week to take away your temper. Yesterday you yelled at your kid. So did the prayer not work?
“Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”
The prayer worked. It just didn’t work the way a light switch works. Some defects lift fast. Most take time. That is normal, and it’s no reason to quit asking.
Paul tells the church to work out their salvation with fear and trembling. Then he explains how that’s possible. It is God who works in you, both to want and to do what pleases Him. You work, and God works. Neither one cancels the other.
That’s what Step Seven looks like over time. You ask God to remove the shortcoming. You practice the opposite. You fall short. You admit it. You ask again. Round and round, and slowly, over months and years, the shape of your life changes.
People who have been sober a long time will tell you they still have defects. The difference is that the defects don’t run their lives anymore. The temper still flares sometimes, but it doesn’t wreck the house. The fear still shows up, but it doesn’t drive the car.
Progress, not perfection. That’s an old line in recovery, and it’s an honest one. Perfection is not your job. Your job is willingness and practice. The removing is God’s job, and He does it on His timeline, not yours.
So when the old defect shows up, don’t throw out the whole program. Do two simple things. First, make it right as soon as you can. If you yelled, apologize. If you lied, correct it. Second, say the prayer again. Not as punishment. As a fresh start.
Keep a simple record if it helps. At night, write down where the defect showed up and where you practiced the opposite. Over a few weeks you’ll see a pattern. Usually you’ll see progress, too.
One thing today
Tonight, write two lines. One place your old defect showed up today. One place you practiced the opposite. Thank God for the second line, even if it’s small.
A prayer
God, I’m frustrated that I’m still like this. Thank You that You haven’t given up on me. Keep working in me. Give me the will and the strength to keep practicing, and patience with how slow I am. Amen.
The Step Seven page explains why this step is lifelong work.
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