June 7: The Defects You Still Like
Some of your defects you’d gladly hand over. Others you’d rather hold onto, if you’re honest.
“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”
Paul writes one of the most honest passages in the Bible. I know that in me, that is, in my flesh, dwells no good thing. For the desire is with me, but I don’t find it doing that which is good. For the good which I desire, I don’t do. But the evil which I don’t desire, that I practice.
Even the apostle Paul struggled. He wanted to do good, and didn’t. He didn’t want to do wrong, and did. That’s the human condition.
Step Six often brings this struggle to the surface. When you look at your defect list, you’ll probably notice two kinds. There are the ones that bring you only pain. Those you’d hand over gladly. Then there are the ones you secretly enjoy. Gossip that makes you feel included. Sarcasm that makes you feel smart. Laziness that feels like rest. Resentment that makes you feel righteous.
Those are the hard ones. And Step Six asks for all of them. Entirely ready.
It helps to be honest about it. Write down the ones you enjoy. Admit that you don’t really want to let go. That honesty isn’t failure. It’s where real willingness begins.
Then think about what each of those defects has cost you. The gossip that broke a friendship. The sarcasm that hurt your kids. The resentment that kept you drinking. The enjoyment is real. So is the price.
Paul ends this chapter with a cry and an answer. Who will deliver me? Then: I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Deliverance comes from outside himself.
It’s worth remembering that God isn’t surprised by any of this. He knows which defects you still like. He’s not waiting for you to pretend otherwise. He’s waiting for you to be honest, so He can begin.
One thing today
Look at your defect list and circle the ones you secretly enjoy. Next to each, write what it has cost you or someone you love.
A prayer
Lord, there are some defects I still like. I’m being honest about that. Show me what they cost. Make me willing to let go of even these. Thank You that deliverance comes through Jesus. Amen.
On honest willingness: Step Six.
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