May 17: The Night Before

It’s late, your Fifth Step is close, and your mind won’t let you sleep.

Nights can feel long when something big is coming. Every worry gets louder in the dark. What will they think? What if you can’t get the words out? What if you leave something out, or say too much? What if you walk out of that room feeling worse instead of better?

David wrote about darkness too. If I say, surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night. Then he says something that changes the whole picture: even the darkness is not dark to You. The night shines as the day. The darkness is like light to You.

For you, the dark is a place of fear. For God, it’s just as bright as noon. He sees you lying awake. He sees what’s on your inventory. He sees tomorrow’s conversation from beginning to end. Nothing about it is hidden from Him, and none of it frightens Him.

That’s worth holding onto tonight. You’re not walking into something unknown to God. He’s already there.

A few practical things can help when sleep won’t come. Get up for a few minutes instead of tossing. Drink some water. Write down whatever’s spinning in your head, then close the notebook. Pray simply: You see all of this, and it isn’t dark to You. Then lie back down.

Try not to reach for your phone and scroll. The bright screen and the endless feed usually make the mind busier, not quieter.

It’s also worth saying: being nervous doesn’t mean you’re not ready. It means you care about doing this honestly. Most people feel exactly this way the night before. Many sleep badly and still find the conversation goes far better than they feared.

Tomorrow, or whenever the day comes, you won’t walk into that room alone. The God who sees in the dark will walk in with you.

One thing today

Before bed, write down every worry you have about your Step Five. Hand the list to God in prayer. Then set it aside and turn off the light.

A prayer

Lord, the dark makes everything feel bigger. Thank You that darkness isn’t dark to You. You see me, You see tomorrow, and You aren’t afraid. Give me rest, and walk with me into that conversation. Amen.

More on this month’s step: Step Five.

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