May 3: The Thing You Want to Leave Out
Most people have one thing on their inventory they’ve already decided not to say out loud.
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
It might be the worst thing you ever did. Or the most embarrassing. Or something nobody would ever guess. You’ve told yourself you’ll share everything else. Just not that one.
Proverbs is direct. Whoever conceals his sins doesn’t prosper. But whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
It isn’t hard to see why. The one thing you leave out becomes the one thing that still has power over you. Everything else is in the light. But that one secret stays in the dark, and it keeps whispering. You’re still a fraud. If they knew this, it would be over.
People in recovery have noticed something over many years: the secret held back is often the one that takes a person back to drinking. Not because it’s the biggest sin, but because it’s the one still hidden. Hidden things fester.
That’s why Step Five asks for the exact nature of your wrongs. Not a cleaned-up summary. Not the parts that make you look reasonably decent. All of it.
This doesn’t mean every detail. You don’t need to describe things graphically. It means you name it. Plainly. Without hiding behind vague words.
If there’s something you’re dreading, it may help to say it first, early in the conversation. Get it out before you lose your nerve. The person listening has probably heard something like it before. They’re not there to judge you. They’re there to help you be free.
And on the other side of it is the promise in this verse: mercy.
It may help to remember why you’re doing this. Not to be punished. Not to prove how bad you are. You’re doing it so nothing in your past can sneak up on you again and pull you back toward a drink. Freedom is the point.
One thing today
Look at your inventory and find the one thing you were planning to leave out. Put a small mark next to it. Decide now that you’ll say it.
A prayer
God, there’s something I don’t want to tell anyone. You already know it. Give me the courage to bring it into the light, and let me find the mercy You promise. Amen.
The full step is described on the Step Five page.
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