May 6: Iron Sharpens Iron

There are things about yourself you just can’t see without help.

Iron sharpens iron. One blade gets sharp by rubbing against another. There’s friction involved. Sometimes sparks. But the result is an edge that cuts clean.

That’s a good picture of what a sponsor, or a good friend in recovery, does. They rub up against your thinking. They ask questions you’d rather not answer. They notice when you’re making excuses. They see patterns you can’t see, because you’re too close.

During Step Five, this matters a lot. You’ll read your inventory, and the person listening may stop you. Wait, what was your part in that? Or: you keep saying you were afraid. What were you afraid of? Or: you’re being harder on yourself than you need to be here.

That’s not criticism. It’s sharpening. They’re helping you see the exact nature of your wrongs more clearly, so you can bring them to God.

Many people find their listener helps them see the fourth column, their own part, better than they could on their own. And just as often, a listener helps them let go of guilt that wasn’t theirs to carry.

If you don’t have a sponsor, it’s worth asking for one. Pay attention at meetings. Who has what you want? Who seems honest, steady and kind? Ask them for coffee. Ask how they worked their steps. It’s not a lifetime commitment to start.

A sponsor isn’t perfect. They’re another person in recovery, still being sharpened themselves. That’s part of what makes them helpful. They know what this is like.

Being sharpened goes both ways. One day you may sit across from someone else reading their inventory. What you receive now, honesty, patience and a steady presence, is what you’ll have to give then. Nothing in this process is wasted.

One thing today

Call your sponsor or a friend in recovery and ask them one honest question about how they worked their Fifth Step. Listen to the answer.

A prayer

Lord, thank You for the people who sharpen me. Help me receive their honesty, even when it rubs. If I don’t have a sponsor, lead me to the right person. Amen.

Read more about Step Five.

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