November 13: Too Ashamed to Pray

You haven’t prayed in days, because you’re embarrassed about what you’d have to say.

Maybe you did something you’re ashamed of. Maybe you’ve just been drifting, and it feels hypocritical to come back now. Maybe there’s a habit you haven’t let go of, and you feel like you can’t face God until you have. So you avoid Him. Like avoiding a friend you owe money to.

Shame works like that. It tells you to hide. It tells you to clean yourself up first and then come back. It sounds reasonable. It’s a lie.

The writer of Hebrews says to come boldly to the throne of grace. Boldly. Not sneaking in through the back. Not waiting until you’re presentable. And notice what it’s called: the throne of grace. Not the throne of judgment. You come there to receive mercy and to find help in time of need. Need is the entry ticket. Not good behavior.

Why boldly? The verses just before this one explain. Jesus understands. He was tempted in every way we are, yet without sin. He knows what it’s like to be pulled. He’s not shocked by you. He’s on your side.

For people in recovery, shame is dangerous ground. Shame isolates, and isolation is where relapse grows. The longer you stay away from God, the harder it gets to come back, and the more appealing the old escape becomes.

So come back today. Don’t wait to feel better. Don’t wait to have fixed it. Say it plainly. “Lord, I’ve been avoiding You because I’m ashamed. Here’s what happened.” Then let Him answer with mercy. He will.

It may also help to tell another person. Shame shrinks when someone else hears the truth and doesn’t walk away. A sponsor, a pastor, a trusted friend. That’s not instead of prayer. It goes alongside it.

You’re not too far gone. You never were. The door has been open the whole time.

One thing today

Pray today, even if it’s thirty seconds. Start with the exact thing you’ve been avoiding saying. Then thank God for His mercy, whether you feel it yet or not.

A prayer

Lord, I’ve stayed away because I’m ashamed. I’m coming back anyway, just as I am. Thank You that Your throne is a throne of grace. I need mercy and help today. Amen.

If shame is weighing you down, see help with shame after drinking.

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