November 16: Praying for Someone You Can't Stand

There’s someone you can’t stand. What would happen if you prayed for them every day for two weeks?

It sounds almost impossible. Pray for the ex who lied about you. The parent who never apologized. The boss who treats you like dirt. The neighbor who calls the cops over nothing. Pray for them? You’d rather pray about them. Preferably something involving lightning.

Jesus doesn’t leave much room here. Love your enemies. Pray for those who mistreat you. He didn’t say this from a comfortable place, either. He prayed for the men nailing Him to the cross.

Notice He doesn’t say feel warmly toward your enemies. He doesn’t say trust them, or pretend nothing happened, or let them back into your life. He says pray for them. That’s an action you can take whether or not you feel like it.

People in recovery have long passed around a simple suggestion for resentments. Pray for the person. Ask God to give them everything you’d want for yourself. Health. Peace. Happiness. Do it every day for two weeks. Even if you don’t mean it. Especially if you don’t mean it.

It sounds too simple to work. People who try it are often surprised. Somewhere in those two weeks, something shifts. Not in the other person, necessarily. In you. You start to see them as a human being. Someone with their own wounds. Someone God loves too. The resentment loosens its grip.

That matters a lot for staying sober. Resentment is one of the heaviest things a recovering person can carry. It feeds on itself. It looks for relief. Praying for the person you resent is one of the most practical ways to set that weight down.

You can start very small. “Lord, bless them. I don’t want to say that, but I’m saying it.” That counts. God can work with a reluctant prayer. He’s been doing it for a long time.

One thing today

Choose one person you resent. Pray for them by name today, asking God to give them what you’d want for yourself. Plan to do the same every day for the next two weeks.

A prayer

Lord, I don’t want to pray for this person. I’m doing it anyway. Bless them, heal them, give them peace. And change my heart toward them, because I can’t do that on my own. Amen.

Prayer for others is part of Step Eleven.

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