November 29: Alone When Everyone Else Is Together

Everyone else seems to be with family this time of year. You’re not.

Maybe your family is far away. Maybe they’re not speaking to you yet. Maybe there’s been a death, a divorce, a falling out. Maybe you spent years drinking through holidays and now, sober, you’re realizing how few people are left. Whatever the reason, you’re alone while the rest of the world seems to be gathered around a table.

Loneliness is one of the hardest feelings in recovery. It’s also one of the most dangerous. Isolation gives the old thinking room to grow. And holidays make it sharper, because everything around you is advertising togetherness.

The psalmist knew this feeling. Turn to me, and have mercy on me, for I am desolate and afflicted. Desolate is a strong word. It means deserted. Empty. That’s how he felt, and he said so to God. He didn’t pretend.

You can pray the same way. “Lord, I’m lonely. It hurts. Turn toward me.” That’s honest, and God hears it. He’s the God who sets the lonely in families. He sees you right where you are.

Then do one brave, practical thing. Reach out to someone. Many meetings hold extra gatherings around holidays, sometimes all day, just for people in your situation. Go to one. Call someone from your meeting or your church. Many of them would be glad to hear from you. Some of them may be lonely too.

You can also look for someone else who’s alone. Serving a meal at a shelter or a church is one of the best answers to loneliness people have found. Helping someone else puts you in a room full of people, with a purpose. And it moves your focus from what you’re missing to what you can give.

If you use the Steps & Scripture app, Jimmy or Sarah are there to talk at any hour. But don’t let that be your only conversation today. Find at least one real voice.

One thing today

Call or text one person today and tell them you’d like to talk. If there’s a meeting or a church gathering near you, go. If you can, find one way to serve someone else who’s alone.

A prayer

Lord, I’m lonely, and it hurts. Turn to me and have mercy. Put people in my path today. Give me the courage to reach out, and use me to comfort someone else who feels alone too. Amen.

Prayer meets us in loneliness, too. See Step Eleven.

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