October 19: Pick Up the Phone Before You Decide

You’re upset and about to make a decision. Have you talked to anyone yet?

It might be a big decision. Quitting a job. Leaving a relationship. Confronting a family member. Or it might be small. Skipping tonight’s meeting. Driving past the old bar just to see. Answering that number you said you’d stop answering.

Either way, you’ve been thinking about it alone, and the thinking has been going in circles. When you’re upset, your own head is a poor counselor. It hands you the arguments you want and hides the ones you don’t.

Part of Step Ten, when something stirs you up, is to talk it over with someone. Not after you’ve decided. Before. The program puts it plainly: when these things crop up, discuss them with someone. That’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.

The proverb says there’s safety in many counselors. Not one. Many. One friend might just agree with you. A few honest people, people who know you and love you and won’t flatter you, can see what you can’t. They’ll ask the question you’ve been avoiding. “What’s really going on here?” “Have you prayed about it?” “Is this about the job, or about your dad?”

Calling is hard for a lot of people. Pride says you should handle it. Fear says you’ll be a bother. Shame says they’ll think less of you. None of those voices are telling the truth. People in recovery usually want you to call. Being needed helps them too.

If you don’t have a list of people yet, start one. Get phone numbers at meetings. Ask someone at church if you can call them when things get hard. Even two or three numbers can change everything.

And you don’t need a crisis to call. Calling on ordinary days makes it easier to call on hard ones. A two-minute check-in builds the habit for the day you really need it.

One thing today

Before you make the decision you’re chewing on, call one person and talk it through. If nothing’s pressing, call someone anyway, just to check in.

A prayer

Lord, I’m tempted to figure this out alone. Humble me enough to ask for help. Give me wise, honest people, and the courage to listen when they say what I don’t want to hear. Amen.

Talking it over is part of Step Ten.

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