October 3: The Coworker Who Gets Under Your Skin

There’s someone at work who gets under your skin, and today they did it again.

Maybe they took credit for your work. Maybe they talk down to you in front of others. Maybe they just breathe loud. Whatever it is, you’ve been rehearsing conversations with them in your head. In the car. In the shower. Lying in bed.

That rehearsing is the giveaway. A resentment is a feeling you keep re-feeling. The word itself means to feel again. And for people in recovery, it’s one of the most dangerous things to carry around. Resentment wants relief. For years, relief came in a glass.

Notice that Paul doesn’t say “never get angry.” He says be angry, and don’t sin. Anger shows up. It’s a human thing. Jesus was angry. The trouble starts when anger moves in, unpacks, and starts giving orders. “Don’t let the sun go down” is a time limit. Deal with it today. Don’t give it the night.

So what does dealing with it look like? Step Ten gives a few plain moves. First, ask what part is yours. Not because the other person did nothing wrong. They may have done plenty. But you can only clean your own side. Were you afraid of looking bad? Were you hoping to be noticed? Did you say something sharp of your own?

Second, pray for them. That sounds impossible on a day like this. Try it anyway, even if the prayer is short and grudging. “Lord, give them what You’d give me.” It’s hard to keep hating someone you’re praying for. Not overnight, but it loosens.

Third, tell someone. Call a friend in recovery, your sponsor, someone who won’t just agree with you. Say the whole thing out loud. You’ll often hear the part you were hiding from yourself before you finish the sentence.

None of this means you let people walk on you. You can still speak up at work. You can set a boundary calmly. But you do it from a clear head, not a hot one, and that usually goes better for everyone.

One thing today

Write the person’s name on a scrap of paper. Under it, write one thing that’s yours in this. Then pray for them once, by name, before the sun goes down.

A prayer

Father, I’m angry, and part of me wants to stay angry. Show me my part in this, and give me the grace to let go of the rest. Bless this person, even though I don’t feel like asking. Amen.

See how the spot-check works in Step Ten.

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