Sponsee: Meaning and What's Expected of One
A sponsee is the person being sponsored: the newer member who has asked someone with more sobriety to guide them through the Twelve Steps. If your sponsor is the coach, you’re the one doing the drills.
What being a sponsee looks like
Being a sponsee is mostly about willingness. Sponsors can only help someone who’s honest and who shows up. In practice that usually means:
- calling when you’ve agreed to, and also when you’re struggling
- doing the reading and the written step work you’re given
- telling the truth, including the parts you’d rather skip
- going to meetings
- being open to suggestions, especially the ones that make you uncomfortable
A sponsee doesn’t owe a sponsor money, obedience in everything, or a share of their personal life beyond recovery. If a sponsor ever pressures you in ways that feel controlling, romantic or unsafe, step back and talk to a pastor or someone you trust.
Why it’s good for both people
There’s an old saying in the rooms that sponsoring helps the sponsor as much as the sponsee. Working with a newcomer reminds the older member where they came from. Many people say their Step 12 work, carrying the message to others, is what keeps them sober years later.
What Scripture says
Learning from someone further along is part of growing in faith, too.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
A question to answer honestly
Are you the kind of sponsee you’d want to sponsor? If not, what’s one thing you could change this week?
See how sponsorship comes full circle in Step 12.
Common questions
How often should a sponsee call their sponsor?
Many sponsors ask for a call every day at first, even a short one. Later it settles into what you both agree on.
Can I have more than one sponsor?
Most people have one at a time. Having one clear guide keeps you from shopping for the answer you want.
When can a sponsee become a sponsor?
Usually after working all twelve steps and having some steady sober time. Ask your own sponsor when they think you're ready.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
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