Step 6 Questions: Naming Your Defects and Their Opposites
These Step 6 questions help you turn your inventory into a short list of defects, write the opposite of each, and get honest about which ones you’re still attached to. There are six. Jimmy and Sarah use these same questions in the app.
What you’ll need
Your Step 4 inventory, especially the “my part” column. A fresh page to write on. And your own copy of the Big Book, open to p. 76 (4th edition). Read the first paragraph on that page before you begin. If you own Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 63–69 are well worth reading here too.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”
The six questions
1. Look at the “my part” column of your inventory. List the defects that keep showing up.
Don’t copy every entry. Look for the patterns. Words like selfish, dishonest, afraid and inconsiderate will probably appear a lot. Go one level deeper too: selfish how? With money? With time? With attention? Aim for a list of somewhere between five and fifteen.
2. Next to each, write its opposite.
Fear and faith. Dishonesty and honesty. Self-pity and gratitude. Resentment and forgiveness. Pride and humility. Impatience and patience. The opposite shows you what to practice once you’ve asked for the defect to be removed in Step 7.
3. Which of these do you actually want gone?
Put a check by each one you’d be glad to lose today. Be honest. It’s normal for only some to get a check.
4. Which defect do you still get something out of? What’s the payoff?
This is the key question of Step 6. Anger can make you feel powerful. Self-pity gets attention. A little dishonesty avoids conflict. People-pleasing keeps others close. Write the defect and what it does for you, in one line each.
5. Are you willing to be made willing about that one?
You may not be ready to let it go. That’s honest. The question is whether you’ll let God work on your readiness. If the answer is yes, that’s enough. Pray for willingness about it each morning this week. The Step 6 prayer has words for this.
6. What would your day look like without it?
Pick the defect from question 4. Picture tomorrow without it: at work, at home, in traffic. What would be different? Who would notice? Write a short paragraph. This often makes the payoff look smaller.
The check for done
The app asks one question before Step 6 is marked complete: are you willing to have God remove all of them, even the ones you’d rather keep? If you can say yes, even “yes, with God’s help,” you’re ready for Step 7.
A practice for this week
Choose one defect from your list. Watch for it every day. When you see it, don’t fight it or punish yourself. Just name it to yourself and, if you can, to God. Tell your sponsor, or Jimmy or Sarah, when you catch it. Noticing is the beginning of being ready.
The Step 6 page explains the whole step. When you’re ready, the Step 7 questions take it from willingness to asking.
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