April 1: Searching Our Ways

You’ve been told to write it all down, and part of you would rather do almost anything else.

That reluctance makes sense. For years, drinking kept certain thoughts from ever being looked at. Now the program asks you to sit down with paper and look at them on purpose. Of course that feels like a lot.

Notice the words “let us.” The prophet doesn’t point a finger from a safe distance. He includes himself. In the middle of grief and loss, he says the way forward was to search and test our own ways and turn back to the Lord. Searching your ways isn’t a punishment. It’s the road home.

Step Four asks for a searching and fearless moral inventory. Fearless doesn’t mean you won’t be afraid. It means fear doesn’t get the final vote. You can shake and still write.

The inventory isn’t a diary, and it isn’t a long essay. It’s laid out in columns, like a store owner taking stock. In the first column, who or what you resent. In the second, the cause, what happened. In the third, what it affects in you: your self-esteem, your security, your relationships, your ambitions. In the fourth, your part. That’s it. Plain facts in plain words.

You don’t have to finish today. You only have to begin. Most people find the hardest line is the first one, and the second comes easier. If you use the Steps & Scripture app, its inventory builder lays out the same four columns, so you can start there or on paper. Either way, it gets written.

And remember who’s asking you to do this. The same God who calls you to search your ways is the one waiting for you to turn back to Him. He isn’t waiting with a ledger. He’s waiting with open arms.

One thing today

Get a notebook or open a blank page. Write four headings across the top: who or what, the cause, what it affects, my part. Then write one name in the first column. Just one. Close the notebook if you need to.

A prayer

Lord, I’m nervous about what I’ll find if I look closely. Give me enough courage for one honest line today. Search my heart with me, and turn me back toward You. Amen.

Read more about this step on the Step Four page.

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