April 22: When You Slip in the Middle

You were working your inventory, and then you drank.

That’s painful. You might feel like you’ve wasted all the work. You might feel like it proves you can’t do this. You might be tempted to hide it, or to give up on the inventory altogether.

Micah wrote these words to people who’d fallen hard. And still he said: don’t rejoice over me, my enemy. When I fall, I will arise. When I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me.

Notice he doesn’t say “if.” He says “when.” Falling is part of the human story. What matters is what happens next.

First, safety. If you’ve gone back to heavy daily drinking, stopping suddenly can be dangerous. Talk to a doctor.

Then, tell someone today. Your sponsor, a friend from your meeting, your pastor. Shame wants you to keep it secret, and secrets are exactly what the inventory is trying to bring into the light. Telling someone is already part of getting back up.

Then look gently at what happened. Inventory work stirs up a lot. Did you stop going to meetings? Stop calling people? Try to do it all alone? Was there a resentment you couldn’t let go of? That’s not to blame yourself. It’s to learn.

And then pick the notebook back up. Your inventory isn’t wasted. Everything you wrote is still true. You might even add a line: the slip, what led to it, and your part.

Your current count may start over. But what God has done in you hasn’t gone anywhere. The days you stayed sober were real. You are still His.

For more, read help after relapse.

Many people in recovery have slipped and come back. They will tell you the coming back is what counts. You don’t need to understand everything about why it happened before you return. Just return.

One thing today

Tell one person in recovery what happened, today. Then go to a meeting within the next day. Open your inventory again, even just to read it.

A prayer

Lord, I fell. I’m ashamed and I’m scared. But You said when I fall, I will rise, and when I’m in darkness, You’ll be my light. Help me get up today. Amen.

Back to the work of Step Four.

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