April 7: The Plank in Your Own Eye
It’s easy to see exactly what the other person did wrong. It’s harder to see what you did.
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”
Jesus had a sense of humor. Picture it: someone with a whole wooden beam sticking out of his eye, squinting, offering to help a friend get a speck of dust out of his. It’s ridiculous. That’s the point.
Resentment works like that beam. When you’re angry at someone, you can describe their faults in great detail. Your own are harder to see, because the anger is in the way.
That’s why the fourth column of your inventory matters most. You’ve written the name, the cause and what it affects. Now you set the other person’s wrongs aside, just for a moment, and ask: where was I at fault here?
The words often used are selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Inconsiderate fits too. Go down your list and ask which ones were present. Where did you want your own way? Where did you shade the truth? Where were you trying to look good, or get ahead? Where were you scared?
This doesn’t mean everything was your fault. Some people genuinely hurt you, and saying so is honest. If someone abused you, that was not your doing, and your part is not what they did to you. If that’s part of your story, talk with your sponsor, a pastor or a counselor alongside this step.
But in most resentments, there’s a piece that belongs to you. Finding it is not about blaming yourself. It’s about finding the part you can actually do something about. You can’t change the other person. You can ask God to change you.
Jesus says that once the beam is out, you’ll see clearly. That’s the gift here. Clear sight. Less anger. And a way to stop being run by what other people did.
One thing today
Take three resentments where the first three columns are already filled in. For each one, write your part honestly. If you’re stuck, ask: was I selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, frightened, or inconsiderate?
A prayer
Lord, it’s so much easier to see what others did. Help me see my own part clearly, without beating myself up. Take the beam out of my eye, and give me honest sight. Amen.
The fourth column is the heart of Step Four.
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