August 25: Outdo One Another in Honor

Step Eight is sometimes called the step of brotherly love, or sisterly love. What does that even look like on a Tuesday?

Paul says to love one another with brotherly affection. Then he adds something surprising. Outdo one another in showing honor. Make it a competition, but backward. Try to beat each other at honoring the other person.

That’s the opposite of how a lot of us lived. Drinking made us competitive in the wrong ways. Who could drink more. Who was right. Who got the last word. Who had it worse. Paul flips the game. Now try to win at honoring people.

What does honoring someone look like? Listening fully when they speak. Speaking well of them when they’re not around. Giving them credit. Remembering what matters to them. Treating their time like it’s valuable. Saying thank you. Letting them go first.

This connects directly to the amends list. When you sit with the names on your list, ask yourself, have I honored this person? Or did I treat them like they didn’t matter? For many of us, the honest answer hurts. We used people. We ignored people. We took them for granted.

Becoming willing to make amends is partly becoming willing to honor them now. Even before you talk to them. Even if you never get the chance to talk to them. You can start treating them, in your heart and in your words, as people God loves.

And practice on the people in front of you today. Your family. Your coworkers. The person at the checkout. The newcomer at the meeting. Try to outdo them in honor. See what happens.

Honor is contagious. When you treat people with respect, many of them start to soften toward you. Not all. But many. And even when they don’t, you’ll find you like the person you’re becoming. That’s a gift too.

One thing today

Find three chances today to honor someone: give credit, listen fully, or let them go first. Notice how it feels.

A prayer

Lord, I’ve spent too much of my life trying to win the wrong games. Teach me to love with real affection and to outdo others in honoring them. Start with the people I’ll see today. Amen.

Brotherly and sisterly love is what Step Eight is all about.

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