Step 8 of the 12 Steps: The Amends List and Willingness
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 8 of the 12 Steps has two parts: you write down everyone you harmed, and you become willing to make things right with all of them. You don’t go to anyone yet. That is Step 9. Step 8 is the list and the willingness, and the willingness is the real work.
The wording above is from the 1939 first edition of the Big Book. Most people find the list easier than they feared, because they already wrote most of it in Step 4.
What Step 8 means in plain words
“A list of all persons we had harmed.” Every one. Family, a former boss, a landlord, people you lied to, money you never paid back, a church you walked out on. The list doesn’t sort people by how much they deserved it. It just names who got hurt by the way you lived.
“Became willing to make amends to them all.” Willing is not the same as ready to knock on the door tomorrow. It means you are no longer refusing. You would do it if God opened the way, even with the hard ones.
The spiritual principle: love for others
The principle often tied to this step is brotherly and sisterly love. Up to now, much of the work has been about your own heart. Step 8 turns your face toward other people and what life was like for them around you.
That is hard, because many of the people on the list also hurt you. Love here doesn’t mean pretending they did nothing. It means caring enough about them, and about God, to clean up your side regardless of theirs.
What the Bible says about Step 8
The app’s verse for this step is the Golden Rule.
“And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”
Ask yourself how you would want someone to treat you if they had hurt you. You would want them to own it plainly, without excuses. That is the kind of amends you are getting willing to make.
“…bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”
Paul ties our forgiving to God’s forgiving. Many people get stuck in Step 8 because of a resentment. This verse is the way through it.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
“As much as it is up to you.” You can’t control how anyone responds. You can do your part. More passages are on the Step 8 verses page.
How to work Step 8
1. Read in your own copy. The Big Book covers Step 8 briefly on page 76 (4th edition). It says the list already exists, since you made it during your inventory. So go back and reread pages 64 to 71, where the inventory is laid out. If you have Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, read the Step Eight essay on pages 77 to 82. It covers forgiving those who harmed us and the different kinds of harm we did.
2. Pull names from your Step 4 sheets. Go through the resentment list, the fears, and the sex conduct inventory. Anyone where your part was selfish, dishonest, self-seeking or frightened goes on the Step 8 list.
3. Look for who is missing. Family members. Employers. Creditors. Your church. People you hurt while drinking that never made the inventory because you weren’t angry at them.
4. Write the harm in one sentence. “Took money from Mom’s purse.” “Missed my son’s games for three years.” Keep it short and plain. No speeches.
5. Mark each name. Willing, not yet willing, or hoping never to see them again. Be honest. The “not yet” names are where prayer goes.
6. Flag the risky ones. Some amends could hurt someone else, cost you your freedom, or reopen something painful for another person. Debts, legal trouble, affairs and former partners belong here. Mark them now. In Step 9 they get talked over with a human sponsor or pastor before anything is done.
7. Answer the questions. The app asks these one at a time:
- Go through your inventory. Who shows up in the “my part” column?
- Who is missing from your list: family, employers, creditors, church, yourself?
- For each name, what was the harm, in one sentence?
- For each name: are you willing, not yet willing, or hoping never to see them again?
- Who do you need to forgive before you can make an amends to them?
Each question has a short guide on the Step 8 questions page.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
What “done” looks like
The list is complete, and you are willing to make all of the amends, even if you aren’t ready to do all of them yet. Then you start Step 9 with your human sponsor beside you.
Common traps in Step 8
Leaving people off because “they hurt me more.” The step isn’t a score. You are cleaning your side of the street. Theirs is between them and God.
Putting yourself at the top. It sounds kind, but it can become a way of avoiding the names that scare you. You do benefit from this step. You benefit by doing it for others.
Skipping the list and jumping to amends. Rushing out to apologize before you are willing often turns into a speech that makes things worse. Get the list right first.
Writing a novel for every name. One sentence per harm. You can talk the details over with your sponsor.
A short prayer for Step 8
Father, show me the people I hurt. Don’t let me hide any of them from myself. Where I am still angry, help me forgive the way You have forgiven me. Make me willing to set right what I can, in Your time and Your way. Amen. There is a longer Step 8 prayer if you want one.
How Jimmy and Sarah help with Step 8
In the Steps & Scripture app, Jimmy (for men) and Sarah (for women) are AI sponsors. In Step 8 they help you pull names off your Step 4 entries, write each harm in a sentence, and pray about the names you aren’t ready for. They are honest that they are AI. The amends themselves are worked out with a human sponsor, and they will keep pointing you to one.
Common questions
What is Step 8 of the 12 Steps?
Step 8 is writing down every person you harmed and becoming willing to make amends to all of them. You don't contact anyone yet. Making the amends is Step 9.
Where does the Step 8 list come from?
Mostly from your Step 4 inventory: the people in your resentment, fear and sex conduct sheets, plus anyone else you hurt. Big Book page 76 (4th edition) points back to that list.
What if I am not willing to make some amends?
That is common. Put the name on the list anyway, mark it not yet willing, and pray every day for the willingness. Talk it over with your sponsor or pastor.
Should I be on my own amends list?
Many people wonder about this. The step is about the people you harmed. Your own life gets better as you do the work, but putting yourself first on the list can become a way to avoid the hard names.
Do I have to forgive people who hurt me first?
Forgiveness is part of getting willing. You don't have to feel warm toward them. You do have to stop letting what they did keep you from cleaning up your side.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
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