Step 8 Prayer: Asking God for Willingness to Make Amends
The Big Book has no set prayer for the Eighth Step, so people pray for one thing: willingness. Willingness to see everyone you harmed, willingness to forgive the ones who harmed you, and willingness to make it right. Below is a prayer in our own words you can use while you build your amends list.
Step 8, in the 1939 wording, reads: “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” The list is pen and paper. The willingness is where you need God.
An Eighth Step prayer
Lord Jesus, You have forgiven me more than I can count. Now I am looking at the people I hurt, and some of their names are hard to write. Open my eyes so I don’t leave anyone off to protect my pride.
Where I am still angry at someone on this list, help me forgive them as You forgave me. I don’t have to feel it yet. I am asking You to start it.
Make me willing to set right what I can, even the amends I dread. Give me wisdom to know which ones need careful counsel, so that I don’t hurt anyone else trying to feel better. Keep me honest, and keep me humble. Amen.
What this prayer is asking for
Clear sight. It is easy to remember what others did to us and forget what we did to them. The first part of the prayer asks God to show you the whole list.
Forgiveness. Many names on an amends list belong to people who also hurt us. A resentment will block the willingness every time. So you ask God to begin forgiving through you, even before you feel it.
Willingness, not speed. You are not promising to make every amends this week. You are asking to stop refusing.
Wisdom. Some amends need care. Ones involving money owed, the law, an affair or a former partner should be talked over with a human sponsor or pastor before you do anything. The prayer asks God to keep you from hurting others in the name of cleaning up.
A verse to pray with it
“…and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
This line from the Lord’s Prayer puts our forgiving and God’s forgiving side by side. Pray it slowly, and picture the hardest name on your list while you do.
How to use this prayer each day
- Morning: pray it before you open your list.
- While writing: when a name makes your stomach drop, stop and pray the middle part again.
- For the “not yet” names: pray for each one by name. Ask God to bless them. Many people find that praying for someone for two weeks changes how they feel about them.
- Night: thank God for any name you moved from “not willing” to “willing.”
When you aren’t willing yet
That is honest, and honesty is a good place to start. Pray to be willing to be willing. Talk about the name with your sponsor. Keep it on the list. Willingness often shows up after the praying, not before.
The full step and how to build the list are on the Step 8 page. When the list is done, the Step 9 prayer is for the amends themselves.
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