Step 9 Prayer: Before and After Making Amends
There is no official Ninth Step prayer, so most people pray twice: once before an amends, for courage and the right words, and once after, for peace about however it went. Two short prayers for those moments are below, in our own words.
Step 9, in the 1939 wording, reads: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” The prayers ask for both parts of that: courage to go directly, and wisdom not to injure anyone.
A prayer before an amends
Father, I am about to face someone I hurt. I am nervous, and part of me wants to back out. Go ahead of me. Prepare their heart and mine.
Help me say what I did plainly. Keep me from explaining it away, and keep me from bringing up what they did. If they are angry, let me listen. If they bring up things I had forgotten, let me own those too.
Protect anyone else who could be hurt by this. If this amends is not wise, stop me before I start. I want to set this right, not just feel better. In Jesus’ name, amen.
A prayer after an amends
Lord, it is done. Thank You for getting me there. Whatever they said, I leave it with You now.
If it went well, keep me from pride. If it went badly, keep me from resentment. Show me if there is anything left to repay or change, and give me the discipline to keep doing it. Amen.
A verse to carry with you
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
You can’t control their words, but you can choose yours. A soft answer often cools a hard moment. Read this one in the car on the way.
Why pray at all?
Amends can go wrong two ways. You can go in proud, ready to argue, and leave things worse. Or you can go in so ashamed that you grovel, and make it about your feelings instead of their loss. Prayer keeps you in the middle: honest, humble and steady.
It also keeps you safe from a quieter danger. Some amends would ease your guilt but hurt someone else, such as confessing an affair to a spouse who would be devastated, or naming people who were part of something. The prayer before an amends asks God to stop you if it isn’t wise. Back that up with action: talk any amends involving money owed, the law, affairs or former partners over with a human sponsor or pastor first.
A few practical habits
- Pray in the parking lot. Even thirty seconds.
- Don’t plan the outcome. Pray for them, not for the reaction you want.
- Call someone afterward. Your sponsor, a friend from your group, your pastor. Don’t sit alone with it.
- Write it down. Record what happened, then pray the second prayer.
The full step, with the book’s guidance on creditors, legal matters and family, is on the Step 9 page. When the amends are done, the habit continues in the Step 10 prayer.
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