August 28: The Brother Who Stayed Home
Most people in recovery know the story of the prodigal son. You probably saw yourself in the son who came home. But have you ever been the older brother?
“And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine. It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.”
When the younger son came home after wasting everything, the father threw a party. The older brother, who’d stayed home and worked hard, was furious. He refused to go in. The father came out and pleaded with him. Son, you’re always with me, and all I have is yours. But it was right to celebrate. Your brother was dead and is alive again.
The older brother is easy to miss. He never left home. He never wasted money. He did everything right. But his heart was far from his father too. He was keeping score.
In Step Eight, you’ll likely find older brother attitudes in yourself. Toward family members who drank or hurt you. Toward people in recovery who seem to get easy grace. Toward anyone who got welcomed back when you think they should have been punished.
The father’s answer is gentle. Everything I have is yours. You haven’t lost anything by your brother coming home. Grace isn’t a pie that runs out.
You’ve been the younger son. Most of us have. You came home and found a Father waiting. Now, as you make your list and become willing, you’re asked to be like that Father toward others. Not the older brother standing outside, arms crossed.
If you use Steps & Scripture, try talking to Jimmy or Sarah about someone you have older-brother feelings toward. Saying it out loud can show you where the score-keeping is.
The story ends with the older brother still outside. Jesus doesn’t tell us whether he went in. That question is left for each of us.
One thing today
Think of someone you resent for getting grace they didn’t earn. Pray for them by name, and thank God for the grace you didn’t earn either.
A prayer
Father, I’ve been the son who came home, and sometimes I’m the one who won’t go in. Soften my heart. Help me be glad when others are welcomed home, just as You welcomed me. Amen.
Letting go of score-keeping makes room for Step Eight willingness.
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