August 4: Seventy Times Seven

Some of the people on your amends list hurt you too. Some hurt you first. Some hurt you worse. Do you really have to forgive them?

Peter thought he was being generous. Forgive seven times? That was more than most people would. Jesus answered, not seven, but seventy times seven. He wasn’t giving Peter a bigger number to count to. He was telling him to stop counting.

Step Eight often brings up old wounds. When you write down the people you’ve harmed, you’ll notice many of them harmed you as well. A parent who drank. A spouse who cheated. A boss who was unfair. It’s tempting to say, “I’ll make my amends when they make theirs.”

But Step Eight isn’t about their side of the street. It’s about yours. And forgiveness clears the way. Holding a grudge is like carrying a heavy bag everywhere you go. It wears you down. It keeps you angry. For a lot of people, resentment was a direct road to drinking.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean what they did was okay. It doesn’t mean you trust them again. It doesn’t mean you have to be close to them. It means you stop demanding that they pay. You hand the debt over to God.

That can take time, and it often comes in layers. You forgive, and then the hurt comes back, and you forgive again. Seventy times seven. That’s not failure. That’s how forgiveness works for most people.

If someone abused you or put you in danger, forgiving them does not mean putting yourself back in harm’s way. Talk that over with a pastor or a counselor you trust.

Start with prayer. Pray for the person who hurt you. Ask God to bless them. You may not mean it at first. Keep praying. People who do this often find their own heart changes first.

One thing today

Pick one person who hurt you. Pray for them by name, every day for two weeks. Ask God to give them the good things you’d want for yourself.

A prayer

Lord, You’ve forgiven me more times than I can count. Help me stop counting with others. I hand over the debt I’ve been holding. Heal my heart toward the people who hurt me. Amen.

Forgiveness is what makes the Step Eight list possible.

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