February 3: Room for Doubts
Maybe you’ve heard a lot of talk about God and still aren’t sure. Maybe you used to be sure, and drinking wore it away.
“Then saith he to Thomas, reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side: and be not faithless, but believing. And Thomas answered and said unto him, My Lord and my God. Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.”
Thomas wasn’t in the room when the risen Jesus first appeared to the disciples. When they told him, he said plainly that he wouldn’t believe unless he saw the nail marks and touched the wounds himself.
He’s been called Doubting Thomas ever since. But look at how Jesus treated him. Jesus came back. He didn’t scold Thomas or tell him to leave. He held out His hands and said, in effect, “Here. Touch. See for yourself.” He met Thomas exactly at the point of his doubt.
And Thomas, the doubter, made one of the strongest statements of faith in the Gospels: “My Lord and my God.”
Doubt and faith aren’t opposites. Doubt is often what honest faith looks like on the way.
Step Two doesn’t require you to have no doubts. It asks for an open mind. Willingness to look. Thomas wanted evidence, and that’s fair. In recovery, evidence often comes in an unexpected way. You’ll see it in other people. The man who drank for twenty years and now has ten sober. The woman who lost everything and now helps others find their way. You’ll sit in a room full of people who couldn’t stop on their own, and did stop, and say a Power greater than themselves made the difference.
That is a kind of evidence. It may be enough to start.
You can also bring your doubts straight to God. Tell Him you’re not sure. Ask Him to show you. Many people in recovery say their faith began with a prayer like, “God, if You’re there, help me get through today.” Then they got through the day. And the next.
Jesus came back for Thomas. He’ll come back for you.
One thing today
At a meeting or in a conversation, ask one sober person how they came to believe. Just listen. Don’t argue with their answer.
A prayer
Lord, I have doubts. I’m bringing them to You instead of hiding them. Show me what I need to see, the way You showed Thomas.
This is part of Step Two.
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