January 3: When One Drink Is Never One
You meant to have one. You always mean to have one.
“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”
Paul was one of the most disciplined men who ever lived. He knew the law inside and out. And here he admits something that may sound very familiar: the good he wants to do, he doesn’t do. The thing he doesn’t want to do, he keeps doing.
He isn’t talking about alcohol. But anyone who has tried to drink “just one” will recognize the pattern.
Step One talks about being powerless, and part of that power loss happens in the body. For many people with a drinking problem, the first drink doesn’t satisfy. It sets off a demand for more. Ordinary drinkers can have a glass of wine and forget the bottle is open. For you, maybe the bottle calls from across the room until it is empty.
That isn’t a moral failure in the moment. It is how the problem works. Once the first drink is in, the decision about the second one is no longer really yours.
This is why willpower keeps losing. You can mean it with all your heart at four in the afternoon. By nine at night, the promise is gone. Then comes the shame, and the shame becomes another reason to drink.
Paul doesn’t end in despair, and neither do you. A few verses later he asks who will rescue him, and he answers: God, through Jesus Christ. The answer to a body that won’t stop isn’t trying harder at controlled drinking. It is accepting that the first drink is the one to avoid, and getting help to avoid it.
Admitting this isn’t weakness. It is accuracy. You can’t solve a problem you are still describing wrong.
Safety first. If you drink heavily every day, stopping suddenly can be dangerous. Talk to a doctor before you quit.
One thing today
Think back over the last five times you drank. Count how many times you stopped where you planned to. Write down the number. Let it be honest.
A prayer
God, I keep doing what I don’t want to do. I can’t fix this by trying harder. Help me see the truth about the first drink, and give me the help I need to leave it alone today.
More on the body side of this: Step One and help with cravings.
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