January 4: The Thought Before the First Drink
It rarely starts with a decision to get drunk. It starts with a small, sensible-sounding thought.
“Do not look at wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup and goes down smoothly. In the end it bites like a serpent and stings like an adder.”
This proverb is honest about how drinking looks before it bites. The wine sparkles. It goes down smoothly. Only at the end does it strike like a snake.
Most people with a drinking problem know the end well. What is harder to see is the beginning. The thought that leads to the first drink is usually calm and reasonable. “It’s been a long week.” “It’s a wedding, everyone’s having one.” “I’ve been good for two weeks, I can handle a beer.” “Nobody will know.”
That is the other half of Step One. The body reacts to alcohol in a way you can’t control. But the mind has a problem too. When you are sober, it forgets how bad it got. It edits out the snake and remembers the sparkle. It talks you into the first drink, and then the body takes over from there.
So you can be completely sincere about stopping and still pick up. Not because you are a liar. Because the thinking that leads to the drink is quiet, sneaky and convincing. It shows up when you’re tired, lonely, bored or celebrating.
Seeing this is freeing. You stop asking, “Why am I so weak?” and start asking, “What does that thought sound like when it shows up?” You learn to notice it. You learn to say it out loud to someone before you act on it. A thought spoken to a sober friend loses most of its power.
You may want help catching those thoughts as they come. Jimmy and Sarah in the Steps & Scripture app can talk it through with you any hour of the day, and they will keep pointing you to meetings and real people too.
One thing today
Write down three sentences your mind uses to talk you into a drink. Use the exact words. Next time one shows up, you’ll recognize it.
A prayer
Lord, my own thinking fools me. It makes the first drink look harmless. Open my eyes to the thought before the bottle, and give me the humility to say it to someone else.
The mind and the body are both part of Step One. What Scripture says about alcohol itself is here.
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