July 12: Shame Hides, Humility Asks
There’s a memory that still makes your face go hot. You don’t even want to pray about it, because praying would mean looking at it again.
““Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”
God speaks through Isaiah to a nation that had gone badly wrong. He doesn’t start with punishment. He starts with an invitation. Come. Let’s talk. Your sins are deep red, and I can make them white as snow.
Shame and humility can feel alike, but they pull in opposite directions. Shame says, “You are bad, so stay away.” Humility says, “I did wrong, so I’ll come close and ask for help.” Shame hides. Humility shows up.
That difference matters a lot in Step Seven. If you confuse humility with shame, you’ll think the goal is to feel as low as possible. It’s not. The goal is to bring your shortcomings to God and let Him deal with them. You can’t do that while hiding.
Shame also lies about the size of things. It tells you that what you did is the worst thing anyone has ever done, that you are beyond fixing. Isaiah answers that. Scarlet is about as deep a stain as there is. God says He can make it white. Not a little lighter. White.
That doesn’t mean the past doesn’t matter. Some of it will need amends later, in Steps Eight and Nine. But you can’t make honest amends from a place of shame. You’ll either hide or grovel. You make them from a place of being forgiven.
So bring the memory. Say it to God plainly. If you haven’t told another person about it yet, think about who you could tell, a sponsor or a pastor. Things lose power when they’re spoken in the light.
You are not what you did. You are someone God is inviting to come and talk.
One thing today
Name the memory to God in one sentence, out loud. Then read Isaiah 1:18 again, slowly, and thank Him for the invitation.
A prayer
God, I’ve been hiding from You because of what I’ve done. You’re inviting me to come and talk. So here I am. Wash me, and help me believe I’m clean. Amen.
There’s more help for this on the shame after drinking page.
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