July 13: The Back Row at the Meeting
You walk into the meeting and take a seat by the door. You don’t plan to share. You’re not even sure why you came. Is that okay?
“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.”
Paul tells the church not to think of themselves more highly than they ought. But he doesn’t say to think of yourself as nothing. He says to think with sober judgment. That’s an interesting word to find in the Bible. Sober. Clear. Seeing things as they are.
That’s a good description of what happens at a meeting. People sit in a room and tell the truth about themselves. Nobody is above anyone else. The person with thirty years and the person with three days drink the same bad coffee. Everyone is there for the same reason.
Sitting in the back and listening is fine. It’s a form of humility. You’re saying, “I don’t have all the answers. Maybe someone here has a piece of one.” Some of the best things you’ll ever learn in recovery will come from people you didn’t expect to learn from.
But don’t let the back row become a hiding place forever. At some point, humility also means letting people know you. Raise your hand and say your name. Share for thirty seconds. Ask someone for their number after the meeting. That’s not showing off. That’s joining.
Pride can work both ways in a meeting. It can make you want to talk too much, to impress. It can also make you refuse to talk at all, because you’re above it, or because you’re scared of looking weak. Sober judgment finds the middle. You listen more than you talk, but you do talk.
If you’ve been going for a while, look around the room for the new person in the back row. Remember being them. Say hello.
One thing today
Go to a meeting this week. Before you leave, learn one person’s name and write it down. If you’re comfortable, ask for their number.
A prayer
Lord, help me see myself with sober judgment, not too high and not too low. Help me listen well, and give me the courage to let people know me. Amen.
Humility in a room full of people is part of what Step Seven looks like in real life.
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