July 2: Praying When You Don't Feel It

You woke up tired, foggy and a little angry, and you don’t even know at what. The last thing you feel like doing is praying.

David wrote this psalm after the worst thing he ever did. He did not write it on a good day. He wrote it when he was sick with guilt and could not fix what he had broken. And what did he ask for? Not a better reputation. Not a way out. A clean heart. A steady spirit.

The Seventh Step prayer asks for the same thing in different words. It goes like this:

“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.”

Read it slowly. It doesn’t ask you to feel holy. It asks you to be willing. “All of me, good and bad.” That includes the morning version of you. The grumpy one. The one who would rather stay in bed.

Feelings are not the engine of prayer. They are more like the weather. Some days the sky is clear and prayer feels warm. Some days it rains. The people who stay sober learn to pray in both. They say the words because the words are true, even when the heart is slow to catch up.

So if you feel nothing this morning, you are not failing. You are doing the honest thing. You are showing up and handing God the whole package. That is what humility looks like on a gray morning. It looks like getting on your knees, or sitting on the edge of the bed, and saying the prayer anyway.

The heart often follows the knees. Not always right away. But it follows.

One thing today

Say the Seventh Step prayer out loud before you check your phone. If you can, kneel. If you can’t, sit still. Then go make coffee. That’s it.

A prayer

God, I don’t feel much this morning, but I’m here. Create in me a clean heart, like You did for David. Take all of me, the tired parts too, and use me today. Amen.

The Step Seven page walks through what this prayer is for and why it comes now.

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