July 3: Pride Wearing a Sad Face
“I’m the worst one here.” “Nobody has done what I’ve done.” “I’ll never get this right.” Do these sound humble to you?
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
They sound humble. They are not. Self-pity is pride with a sad face on it. It still puts you at the center of the story. It still says your case is special. Only now it’s specially bad instead of specially good.
Real humility is quieter than that. It says, “I am one of many. God has seen people like me before, and He knows what to do with me.” There is a strange freedom in being ordinary. You don’t have to be the best or the worst. You only have to be honest and willing.
Peter tells us to humble ourselves under God’s mighty hand. Then right away he says to cast all our worry on Him, because He cares for us. Those two things belong together. Pride holds onto worry. Pride says, “This is mine to carry, and I’ll carry it alone.” Humility hands it over.
Self-pity also keeps you stuck. When you are busy feeling sorry for yourself, you don’t call anyone. You don’t go to the meeting. You don’t do the next right thing, because what’s the point? It feels like being low. It is really a way of staying in charge.
The way out is not to cheer yourself up. It’s to get your eyes off yourself. Ask someone how they are doing and mean it. Do a small chore for someone else. Read a page of your Bible and look for God in it, not you.
If you use the Steps & Scripture app, you might tell Jimmy or Sarah what the self-pity is saying today. Hearing it said back to you plainly can take the air out of it.
You are not too far gone. You are not the special exception. You are a child of God having a hard day, and He cares for you.
One thing today
When you catch yourself thinking “poor me,” stop and name one person who is having a harder week than you. Then text them, call them, or pray for them by name.
A prayer
Lord, I keep making myself the center, even when I’m putting myself down. Lift my eyes. I cast this worry on You because You care for me. Help me be ordinary, honest and useful today. Amen.
Pride in all its shapes is one of the things Step Seven asks God to remove. See the Step Seven page.
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