June 6: Do You Want to Be Well?
It might seem like a strange question to ask someone who’s been stuck for years.
“When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?””
The man by the pool of Bethesda had been sick for thirty-eight years. He lay there every day with a crowd of others, hoping for healing that never seemed to come his way.
Jesus asked him: do you want to be made well?
That seems obvious. Of course he did. But listen to his answer. Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I’m coming, someone else steps down before me.
He didn’t say yes. He explained why it hadn’t happened yet.
That’s very human. When you’ve been stuck a long time, you build up reasons. Not lies exactly. Real obstacles. But they can become a way of staying put.
Jesus’s question cuts through. Do you want to be well? Not, are there reasons you aren’t? But, do you want it?
Step Six asks a similar question. Do you want to be free of these defects? All of them? Even the ones that have become comfortable? Even the ones that have been part of your identity for years?
Sometimes the honest answer is: part of me does, and part of me doesn’t. Part of me is used to being angry. Part of me likes having someone to blame. Part of me doesn’t know who I’d be without my fear.
That’s all right to admit. In fact, admitting it is the first step to becoming willing.
Then Jesus told the man: get up, take your mat, and walk. And he did. Thirty-eight years of being stuck, and then he walked.
If this is a weekend, it might be a good time to sit with this question. Do you want to be well?
One thing today
Write Jesus’ question at the top of a page: do you want to be made well? Then write your honest answer, including any excuses. Read it to your sponsor this week.
A prayer
Jesus, You’re asking me if I want to be well. Part of me does, and part of me is scared. I’m tired of my excuses. Yes, Lord. I want to be well. Help me get up and walk. Amen.
This month’s step: Step Six.
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