March 15: White as Snow

There are things you did while drinking that you’ve never said out loud. They feel like stains that won’t wash out.

God speaks through Isaiah to a people who had done real wrong. He doesn’t minimize it. He calls their sins scarlet. Crimson. In the ancient world, those were the deepest, most permanent dyes. Once cloth was dyed scarlet, it stayed scarlet.

And then God says: come now, let’s reason together. Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.

Not faded. White.

Shame often gets louder in early sobriety. When the alcohol fog lifts, memories come back. Things you’d forgotten. Things you’d hoped no one knew. Sometimes they come all at once, and it’s overwhelming. The temptation is to believe that you’re permanently stained. That God might forgive other people, but not this. Not you.

Step Three is a decision to turn your life over to God’s care. Your whole life. That includes your past. You can’t hand over your future while keeping a death grip on your guilt. Part of turning your life over is letting God deal with what you’ve done, in His way, which is forgiveness through Christ.

That doesn’t mean the past doesn’t matter. In Step Four and the steps after it, you’ll look honestly at your wrongs and make amends where you can. That’s real work. But you do it as someone already forgiven, not as someone trying to earn forgiveness. The washing comes first. The cleaning up follows.

God’s invitation is “come now, let’s reason together.” He’s not shouting. He’s inviting a conversation. Bring Him the specific stain. Name it. Then let Him tell you what He thinks of it.

If you need someone to talk to about something heavy, a pastor is a good choice. So is a sponsor. And Jimmy and Sarah in the Steps & Scripture app are there for a first honest conversation when it’s late and you’re not ready to say it to a person yet.

One thing today

Write down one thing you’re most ashamed of. Then write Isaiah 1:18 underneath it. Pray over the page, and then tear it up.

A prayer

God, some of what I’ve done feels permanent. You say it can be white as snow. I’m bringing it to You. Wash it, and help me believe You have.

If shame is heavy right now, read this page on shame after drinking. This month: Step Three.

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