March 31: Search Me, God

Three months ago, you started being honest about drinking. Look how far you’ve come.

Psalm 139 is one of the most personal prayers in the Bible. David marvels that God knows everything about him. Where he sits, where he goes, every word before he speaks it. He can’t get away from God’s presence, even in the dark. And he isn’t afraid of that. He finds it comforting.

Then the psalm ends with a request. Search me, God, and know my heart. Test me, and know my thoughts. See if there’s any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.

David invites God to look at everything. Not to condemn him, but to lead him.

That prayer is a good bridge between Step Three and Step Four.

Look back at what you’ve walked through. In January, Step One, you admitted that alcohol had beaten you and your life had become unmanageable. In February, Step Two, you came to believe a Power greater than yourself could restore you. In March, Step Three, you made a decision to turn your will and your life over to God’s care.

That’s real. Whether your three months were smooth or full of slips and restarts, if you’ve taken those steps honestly, you’ve done something important.

Now comes the action that proves the decision. Step Four is an honest inventory, a careful look at the resentments, fears and harms that drove the drinking. It can sound scary. But Psalm 139 shows the spirit to do it in. You’re not digging through your life alone, looking for things to beat yourself up about. You’re inviting a loving God to search your heart with you, so He can lead you somewhere better.

Many people suggest starting Step Four soon after Step Three, while the decision is fresh. Talk with your sponsor about how to begin.

Thank God for these three months. Then keep walking.

One thing today

Pray Psalm 139:23-24 out loud. Then call your sponsor or a trusted person in recovery and set a time this week to talk about beginning Step Four.

A prayer

God, thank You for walking me through honesty, hope and faith. Search me now. Know my heart. Show me what needs to change, and lead me in Your way.

Finish Step Three, then begin Step Four.

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