October 22: Waiting on the Doctor's Call

You’re waiting on test results, and every time your phone buzzes, your stomach drops.

Maybe it’s bloodwork. A scan. A lump. A doctor who said, “Let’s just check something.” Or maybe it isn’t a test at all. Maybe it’s a pain that won’t go away and a quiet fear about what the drinking years did to your body.

Health fears are real, and for many people in recovery they’re more than imagination. Alcohol is hard on the liver, the heart, the stomach, the brain. Getting sober is one of the best things you can do for your body. It doesn’t erase every bill that’s come due.

So the fear makes sense. The question is what you do with it.

David wrote this psalm when he was in real danger, captured by enemies. And he doesn’t pretend he isn’t scared. He says, when I’m afraid, I will put my trust in You. Not if. When. Fear comes. Trust is what you do next.

Trust isn’t the same as feeling calm. It’s a choice to hand the thing over, again and again, even while your heart is pounding. Sometimes you’ll hand it over twenty times in one afternoon. That’s not failure. That’s what trust looks like in real life.

Step Ten asks you to notice fear when it shows up and to bring it to God. With a health scare, you might need to do that hourly. Name it. “I’m scared it’s serious.” Give it. “Lord, this is Yours.” Then do the next practical thing. Eat lunch. Answer the email. Call a friend.

It also helps not to wait alone. Tell someone what’s going on. Ask them to pray. Bring someone to the appointment if you can. Fear grows in isolation and shrinks in company.

And whatever the results say, take care of yourself honestly. Tell your doctor your full drinking history. That’s not a confession to be ashamed of. It’s information they need to help you well. Follow their advice. Your body is a gift, and caring for it is part of recovery too.

One thing today

Tell one trusted person about the fear you’re carrying and ask them to pray for you. Each time the fear spikes today, say the first line of the psalm out loud.

A prayer

Lord, I’m afraid. I’m choosing to trust You anyway. Whatever the news is, You’ll be there in it with me. Give me peace while I wait, and courage for whatever comes. Amen.

Fear is one of the four things Step Ten helps you face.

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