October 26: Saying Sorry to Your Kid

You snapped at your kid this morning. You saw their face. It’s been bothering you all day.

Maybe they were slow getting ready. Maybe they spilled something. Maybe they just asked one too many questions at the wrong time. You raised your voice, or you said something sharp, and you saw them shrink a little. Then everyone rushed out the door, and the moment was gone.

Except it isn’t gone. It’s still sitting there. For you, and probably for them.

Many people in recovery carry a deep ache about their kids. Missed games. Broken promises. Things said or done while drinking. Step Nine may have addressed some of that. But parenting doesn’t stop, and neither do mistakes. Step Ten is how you keep from piling new hurts on top of old ones.

Jesus says something surprising here. If you’re about to worship and you remember someone has something against you, leave your gift at the altar. Go make it right first. Then come back. In other words, getting things right with people is so important to God that He’d rather you leave church than skip it.

With kids, a quick amends can be very simple. Get down to their level. Look them in the eye. “This morning, I yelled at you. That wasn’t okay. I’m sorry. It wasn’t your fault.” Then let them respond however they respond. Don’t explain it away. Don’t make them comfort you.

You might worry that apologizing to a child makes you look weak. It does the opposite. It shows them what a grown-up does when they get it wrong. It teaches them that mistakes can be fixed. It teaches them that love doesn’t disappear when someone messes up. Those are lessons they’ll carry for life.

It also rebuilds trust, one small repair at a time. Kids of parents who drank often learned to brace themselves. Every quick, honest apology tells them a little more clearly that they don’t have to brace anymore.

If your kids are grown, this still applies. A text or call that says “I was short with you the other day, and I’m sorry” can mean more than you think.

One thing today

Before bedtime tonight, go to your child and name the moment. Apologize simply, without excuses. Then give them a hug if they want one.

A prayer

Lord, I don’t want my kids to carry my temper. Thank You for the chance to make it right today. Give me humility to apologize, and heal what’s been hurt between us. Amen.

Quick amends at home are Step Ten at its most practical.

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