September 18: A Time to Speak

You know you owe someone an amends. But they just lost their job. Or their mother is in the hospital. Or they’re in the middle of a divorce. Is now the right time?

Ecclesiastes says there’s a time to tear and a time to sew. A time to keep silent and a time to speak. Wisdom is knowing which time it is.

Timing matters in Step Nine. An amends at the wrong moment can feel like an ambush. Walking up to someone at a funeral, a wedding, or in front of their coworkers to talk about your past can make things worse. They need to be able to hear you. That takes the right setting and the right time.

Usually, it’s better to ask first. “I’d like to talk with you about some things from the past. Is there a good time?” That gives them some control. It shows respect. It lets them prepare too.

But there’s a trap here. “Waiting for the right time” can quietly become “never.” It’s easy to keep finding reasons why now isn’t good. They’re busy. It’s the holidays. They seem stressed. You’re not ready. Months go by. Years go by.

Jesus said to leave your gift at the altar and go. There’s an urgency to amends. Waiting for the perfect moment is often just fear dressed up as wisdom.

So how do you tell the difference? Talk to your sponsor. Be honest about why you’re waiting. Is it because the other person really can’t handle it right now? Or because you’re scared? Your sponsor can often see what you can’t.

If there’s a real reason to wait, set a time to revisit it. Don’t let it drift. Put it on your calendar. Ask your sponsor to check with you.

There is a time to speak. For many names on your list, it’s sooner than you think.

One thing today

Look at any name you’ve been “waiting for the right time” on. Ask yourself honestly why you’re waiting. Talk it over with your sponsor and set a date.

A prayer

Lord, give me wisdom about timing. Show me when to wait and when to speak. And don’t let me use waiting as an excuse to avoid what I need to do. Amen.

Timing and good judgment are part of Step Nine.

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