September 22: Sowing in Tears, Reaping Joy
It’s been a few weeks of amends now. Some went well. Some didn’t. You’ve cried more this month than you have in years. Is it worth it?
“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.”
This psalm was sung by people who’d been through exile and come home. They knew about sorrow. And they sang a promise. Those who sow in tears will reap in joy. The one who goes out weeping, carrying seed, will surely come home with joy, carrying sheaves.
Notice the picture. Someone walking out to the field, crying, with a bag of seed. It’s hard work. It’s sad work. But they keep sowing. And later, they come home carrying a harvest.
Step Nine can feel like sowing in tears. Every amends stirs up the past. You face people you hurt. You feel the weight of what you did. Some days it feels like it’s only pain.
But people who have done this work talk about a harvest. Freedom from the past. Peace with people they thought they’d lost. Being able to look anyone in the eye. Not regretting the past or wanting to shut the door on it. Being useful to others because of what they’ve been through. These are the kinds of promises many people find on the far side of this step.
Take a moment today to look for the beginnings of that harvest. Has anything gotten lighter? Has any relationship softened? Have you slept better after a hard amends? Has someone surprised you with kindness?
Write those things down. Thank God for them. Gratitude in the middle of hard work helps you keep going. It reminds you that the tears aren’t the end of the story.
And if you can’t see any harvest yet, keep sowing. The psalm says “surely.” It’s coming.
One thing today
Write down every good thing that has come from your amends so far, however small. Thank God for each one out loud.
A prayer
Lord, this work has had tears. Thank You for the joy You promise on the other side. Help me keep sowing. Let me see the first signs of the harvest, and thank You for every one. Amen.
The Step Nine page explains what many people find after this work.
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