September 25: The One You Can't Fix

You made the amends. You’ve changed. But the relationship is still broken. Maybe it always will be. How do you live with that?

Isaiah describes God’s chosen servant, and Christians have long seen Jesus in these words. A bruised reed He won’t break. A dimly burning wick He won’t put out. He is gentle with what’s fragile.

Some relationships don’t come back. A marriage that ended. A child who won’t speak to you. A friend who moved on. You can make a sincere amends and change your life completely, and they may still choose distance. That’s one of the hardest parts of recovery.

It’s important to grieve this. Don’t skip past it. Something was lost, and you played a part in losing it. That’s sad, and it’s okay to feel sad. Tell God about it. Tell your sponsor. Cry if you need to.

But don’t let grief turn into self-punishment. You did your part. You were honest. You offered to make it right. You’ve changed. The rest belongs to them and to God.

Keep the door open on your side. Don’t push. Don’t send long messages begging. Don’t show up uninvited. Just let them know, once, that you’re there if they ever want to talk. Then keep living well. Sometimes people come back years later. Sometimes they don’t.

Pray for them. Ask God to bless them. Ask Him to heal what you broke, even if you’re not part of the healing.

And let God be gentle with you. You may feel like a bruised reed right now. He won’t break you. You may feel like a wick that’s barely burning. He won’t put you out. He’s tender with exactly this kind of pain.

If you use Steps & Scripture, you can talk this kind of grief through with Jimmy or Sarah, and they’ll point you toward your human sponsor too.

One thing today

Write a short prayer for the person you can’t reconcile with. Ask God to bless them, and to comfort you. Pray it daily this week.

A prayer

Lord, this relationship may not come back. I did my part, and it still hurts. Be gentle with me, the bruised reed. Bless them, heal what I broke, and give me peace. Amen.

Step Nine is about doing your part, even when the outcome isn’t in your hands.

Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free

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