Support Groups for Families of Alcoholics
A support group for families of alcoholics is a regular meeting where spouses, parents, children, siblings and friends of people who drink talk honestly and learn from each other. The best-known is Al-Anon, with Alateen for teenagers, but many churches, counselors and online communities run family groups too. You can go whether or not your loved one is drinking right now, and you never have to speak until you’re ready.
Why a group, and not just a friend
Friends mean well. But most people who haven’t lived with drinking give advice that doesn’t work: “Just leave,” “Pour it out,” “Make him promise.” In a family group, you sit with people who have tried all of that already. They won’t be shocked by your story, and they won’t tell you what to do. They’ll tell you what they did and how it went.
God made us to carry hard things together.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!”
The main kinds of groups
Al-Anon. A long-standing fellowship for relatives and friends of alcoholics, meeting in person, online and by phone in many countries. Meetings use the Twelve Steps, adapted for family members, and focus on your own life rather than fixing the drinker. It’s spiritual but not church-based.
Alateen. Part of the Al-Anon fellowship, for younger people affected by someone else’s drinking. Meetings are usually led with an adult sponsor present. If your teenager is hurting, this is worth knowing about. Pair it with talking to kids about a parent who drinks.
Church-based recovery ministries. Many churches host Christ-centered recovery programs with groups for family members, not only for the person who drinks. Some are part of a national program; others are run by a local pastor or lay leader. Scripture and prayer are at the center. See how to find a Christian recovery group for questions to ask before you join.
Counselor-led family groups. Some licensed counselors, hospitals and recovery centers run groups for families, often for a set number of weeks. These tend to be more structured, with teaching on topics like boundaries and communication. Ask whether there’s a cost.
Online groups. Video meetings, phone meetings and moderated forums help if you live far from town, work odd hours, or aren’t ready to be seen walking into a church basement. Choose groups that are moderated and that protect privacy.
Steps & Scripture isn’t affiliated with Al-Anon, Alateen, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., or any group named here.
How to find one this week
- Search the group’s own meeting finder. Al-Anon lists in-person, online and phone meetings on its website.
- Call your church office, or two nearby churches. Ask: “Do you have a recovery ministry with a group for family members?”
- Ask a counselor or your doctor about family groups they trust.
- Call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. It’s free, confidential and open all hours, and can point you to local services. More on samhsa.gov.
Pick one meeting and put it on your calendar. Not the perfect one. Just the next one.
What a first meeting is like
Most family meetings last about an hour. People sit in a circle or around a table. Someone reads a short opening, there may be a prayer, and then a topic is offered. People take turns talking for a few minutes each, usually without anyone interrupting or giving advice. Crosstalk, where one person responds directly to another, is often discouraged so everyone feels safe.
You’ll likely be asked if you’re new. You can say your first name, or just nod. Nobody will ask for your last name, your loved one’s name, or details.
What people often notice the first time: laughter. It surprises newcomers. People who have been through the worst of it can laugh again, and seeing that can give you hope.
What’s said in the room stays in the room. That’s the common rule, and it protects you too.
Give it more than one try
Groups have personalities. One may feel cold; the one across town may feel like home. A common suggestion is to try six meetings, at more than one group, before you decide. If a group pressures you, gossips, or pushes you to stay somewhere unsafe, leave and find another.
Keep your faith at the center
If the group you find isn’t Christian, you can still bring Christ with you. Pray before you walk in. Listen for what’s true. Weigh what you hear against Scripture, and talk it over with your pastor.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
When you need more than a meeting
A group is not a safety plan. If you or your children are being threatened or hurt, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. If anyone in your home is thinking about suicide, call or text 988.
If your loved one wants help too
The person who drinks has groups of their own, and a doctor should be part of any plan to stop after heavy drinking. Steps & Scripture is something you can offer them: an AI sponsor, Jimmy for men or Sarah for women, walks the Twelve Steps with them alongside Scripture and keeps urging them toward meetings, church and a real sponsor. It’s free to download, first month free.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
Before your first meeting
Ask yourself: What do I want to say out loud that I haven’t told anyone? You don’t have to say it there. Just know what it is.
A prayer before you go
“Lord, I don’t want to walk into a room of strangers and talk about the hardest part of my life. Go ahead of me. Put me next to someone kind. Help me listen, and help me tell the truth when I’m ready. Amen.”
Common questions
Does my loved one have to be sober, or in recovery, for me to go?
No. Family groups are for you, whether the person you love is drinking, sober, in and out, or no longer in your life. You don't need their permission or their participation.
Do I have to talk at my first meeting?
No. In most groups you can say your first name and that you'd like to listen, or simply pass. Many people sit quietly for several weeks before they share.
Is Al-Anon a Christian group?
Al-Anon is spiritual but not tied to any church, and members come from many faiths or none. Many Christians attend and pray in their own way. If you want Scripture at the center, look for a church-based group as well, or instead.
What if there are no meetings near me?
Online and phone meetings run at almost every hour. A pastor or Christian counselor can also meet with you while you look for a group that fits.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
Get the daily reading by email
One short reading a day: a verse, a few honest words, one thing to do and a prayer. Unsubscribe any time.
We'll send one email to confirm. We never share your address.