Harms Inventory Worksheet: Step 4 Free Printable
A harms inventory is the last part of Step Four: an honest look at your sex conduct and the other ways you've hurt people, so you can see the pattern and ask God for a better way. The book covers it on pages 68–70 of Alcoholics Anonymous (fourth edition).
It's the hardest list for most people. Write it with a human sponsor beside you, keep it private, and use initials. The point is not to punish yourself. It's to tell the truth so you can be free of it.
Download free PDFFree. No email, no sign-up. A printable PDF, letter size: questions, a full page table, and a page for your ideal.
How to fill it in
- Whom I hurt: initials are enough. Include partners and spouses, family, friends, people at work, and anyone you used.
- What I did: a few honest words. No need for details on paper.
- Which defect: selfish, dishonest, inconsiderate, jealous, resentful, afraid. Name what drove it.
- What I should have done instead: the kind, honest thing. This becomes your ideal for the future.
- Amends?: yes, no or ask. Don't plan the amends yet. That's Steps Eight and Nine, with your sponsor.
Questions to ask
- Where was I selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate?
- Whom did I hurt? Did I stir up jealousy, suspicion or bitterness in someone?
- Where was I at fault, and what should I have done instead?
- Apart from sex, whom have I harmed with my words, my money, my temper or my absence?
My harms inventory
| Whom I hurt | What I did | Which defect | What I should have done instead | Amends? |
|---|---|---|---|---|
The PDF has 17 blank rows to fill in.
A sane and sound ideal
- What do I want my relationships to look like from here on? Write it plainly.
- What do I need to ask God for in this part of my life?
Keep yourself and others safe
- Keep this paper somewhere private. Burn or shred it when you and your sponsor are done.
- Anything involving an affair, a former partner, money owed or the law gets talked over with a human sponsor or pastor before any amends.
- Never make an amends that would hurt someone else.
- If you are being hurt at home, or are afraid you could hurt someone, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. In crisis, call or text 988. In danger, call 911.
A prayer for this inventory
God, I've hurt people I said I loved.
Show me the truth without letting me drown in it.
Make me who You meant me to be,
and give me the strength to live it out. Amen.
How to use it
- Read pages 68–70 of your own copy first, and pray.
- Answer the questions, then fill one row of the table per person.
- Write your ideal for the future on the last page.
- Go over it with your sponsor in Step Five. Keep the paper private, then destroy it.
- Your amends column feeds your Step Eight list later. Don't act on it yet.
Scripture to go with it
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
“Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.”
Based on the sex conduct inventory in the 1939 first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous. Page numbers are from the fourth edition. The prompts, columns and prayer are our own. Steps & Scripture is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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Common questions
What is a harms or sex inventory?
It's the last part of Step Four. You look honestly at your sex conduct and other harms: whom you hurt, what you did, which defect drove it, and what you should have done instead. The book covers it on pages 68–70 of Alcoholics Anonymous, fourth edition.
Do I have to write details?
No. Initials and a few words are enough. You'll say the rest out loud to your sponsor in Step Five.
What if I'm ashamed of what's on this list?
That's normal. God already knows, and He forgives. Writing it down is how you stop carrying it alone. Your sponsor has likely heard worse.
Should I contact people on this list?
Not now. That comes in Steps Eight and Nine, and only after you talk each one over with your sponsor. Some amends, especially to former partners, should not be made directly at all.
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