Amends Letter Template and Amends List: Free PDF
An amends letter template helps you say what you did, own it without excuses, and ask how to make it right. This printable has one, with fill-in prompts and a short example, plus an amends list worksheet for Step Eight.
Go over every name with a human sponsor or pastor before you reach out. Some amends are best made face to face, some by letter, and some only by the way you live from now on.
Download free PDFFree. No email, no sign-up. A printable PDF, letter size: an amends list, letter prompts and an example letter.
Read this first
- Talk over every amends with your sponsor before you make it.
- Anything involving money owed, the law, an affair or a former partner: talk it over with a human sponsor or pastor first.
- Never make an amends that would hurt someone else, including the person you're writing to.
- If someone has asked you not to contact them, respect that. Make a living amends instead, and don't send the letter.
- If anyone on your list has hurt or threatened you, you don't owe them contact. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.
My amends list (Step Eight)
| Name | The harm | Type: direct, letter or living | Talked over with sponsor? | Done |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| My sister, Anne | Borrowed $400 and never paid it back. Lied about why. | Direct, then repay | Yes, 3/12 | |
The first row is an example. The PDF has 9 blank rows to fill in.
Write your letter
- Dear ________. Why I'm writing: I'm working to set right the things I've done wrong.
- What I did: name it plainly. No excuses, no "but," and nothing about what they did.
- How it may have hurt you: show that you understand.
- What I want to do to set it right. Ask: is there anything else I can do?
- How I'm living differently now, in a sentence or two.
- Close simply. You don't need to ask for forgiveness or a reply.
Example letter
Dear Anne, I'm writing because I'm trying to make right the things I did wrong while I was drinking. Two years ago I borrowed $400 from you and told you it was for car repairs. That wasn't true, and I never paid you back. I know that cost you money you needed, and it made it hard for you to trust me. I'm sorry. I've enclosed the first $100, and I'll send the same each month until it's paid. If there's anything else I can do to set this right, I want to hear it. I'm sober today and trying to live honestly. You don't need to write back. With love, Mark
Before you send it
God, I'm willing.
Give me the right words and the right time.
Keep me from making this about me.
Whatever they say, help me keep
my side of the street clean. Amen.
How to use it
- Read pages 76–84 of your own copy of Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Fill in the amends list with every name from your Step Four inventory.
- Go over the whole list with your sponsor and mark the type of amends for each person.
- Draft the letter using the prompts, then read it to your sponsor before you send it.
- Mark each amends done, and keep living the change.
Scripture to go with it
“So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
“And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.””
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
Based on Steps Eight and Nine as described in the 1939 first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous. Page numbers are from the fourth edition. The list, prompts, example letter and prayer are our own. Steps & Scripture is not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
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Common questions
What should an amends letter say?
What you did, in plain words; that you understand how it hurt them; what you'll do to set it right; and a question about whether there's anything else you can do. No excuses, and nothing about what they did to you.
When should I write a letter instead of meeting in person?
Face to face is usually best. A letter fits when the person is far away, when meeting isn't safe or wise, or when your sponsor thinks a letter is kinder. Decide together.
What if the amends could hurt someone?
Then don't make it that way. Some amends, especially about affairs, former partners, money or the law, need a different approach. Talk it over with a human sponsor or pastor first.
What is a living amends?
Changing how you live toward someone, day after day. It's often the right amends when direct contact would do harm, or when the person has asked for no contact.
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