A Prayer for Courage to Make Amends
A prayer for courage to make amends asks God for steady legs and an honest mouth when you’d rather do anything else. Pray it in the car before you go in: “Lord, I’m afraid. Help me say what I did, plainly, without excuses. Let me listen well. Whatever happens, keep me sober and at peace. Amen.”
There’s also a traditional prayer many people use with Step 9. You’ll find it on the Ninth Step prayer page. The one below is in our own words.
Before the conversation
“Father, You know who I’m about to face, and You know what I did to them. I’ve rehearsed this a hundred times and I’m still scared.
Keep my words simple. Don’t let me explain, justify or bring up what they did to me. Let me say what I did, that it was wrong, and ask what I can do to make it right. Help me mean it.
Open my ears. If they’re angry, let me take it without defending myself. If they’re kind, let me receive it without making it about me. If they won’t talk at all, give me peace that I tried.
And afterward, keep me from celebrating with a drink or punishing myself with one. Bring me home sober. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Courage comes from God being with you
God told Joshua to be strong and brave, because He’d be there wherever Joshua went.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.””
Paul asked believers to live at peace with everyone, as far as it depends on them.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
That phrase, “as far as it depends on you,” matters. You can’t control whether peace comes back. You can do your part.
Getting ready with your sponsor
- Go over your list. Step 8 is the list; Step 9 is the doing. See Step 8.
- Check for harm. Will this conversation hurt the person or someone else? If so, find another way.
- Write a few lines. What you did, that it was wrong, how you’ll set it right.
- Plan a call afterward. Tell your sponsor or a friend how it went the same day.
Some wrongs can’t be repaired face to face. A changed life can still speak. See living amends.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
Pick a date
Choose one amends you and your sponsor already agreed on. Put a day and time on your calendar this week, and pray this prayer each morning until then.
Common questions
What if the person yells at me or refuses to forgive?
That's their right. Your job is to own your part honestly and do what you can to repair it. Their response belongs to them and to God. Listen, thank them, and leave in peace.
Should I make amends before I'm ready?
Most people never feel ready. Do the preparation with your sponsor, make sure the amends won't harm anyone, and then go even if you're nervous. Courage usually shows up during the act, not before it.
Can I make amends by text?
Face to face is usually best, and a phone call is next. A text or letter can work when distance or safety makes a visit unwise. Talk it through with your sponsor.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
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