A Prayer for Letting Go of Resentment
A prayer for letting go of resentment asks God to loosen your grip on an old hurt you keep replaying. It doesn’t pretend the wrong didn’t happen. It asks God to take the weight so you can stop carrying it. Start here: “Lord, I’m tired of carrying this. I hand ______ to You. Take the bitterness out of me, even if it takes a while. Amen.”
If the person who hurt you is still a danger to you, letting go of a resentment never means going back. If you’re in an abusive situation, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
The prayer
“God, You know the name I keep coming back to. You know what they did, and You know how many times I’ve replayed it: in the shower, on the drive, at 2 a.m. I’ve rehearsed what I should have said. I’ve rehearsed what I’d say now.
It’s poisoning me. I drank on this. I’ve stayed angry on this. It still steals my peace.
So I’m bringing it to You. I’m not saying it was fine. I’m saying I can’t be the judge anymore. You are. I give You my right to get even. I give You the speeches. I give You the person.
Show me my own part, if I had one, so I can own it. Where I had none, help me accept that and stop looking for one. Bless them, Lord, even though I don’t feel like it. Let me want good for them someday. Make my heart soft again. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
Roots of bitterness
Scripture warns that bitterness doesn’t stay small. It puts down roots and spreads.
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;”
Paul told believers to put bitterness away, and gave the reason: we’ve been forgiven.
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
How this fits with the inventory
Many people meet their resentments on paper for the first time in Step 4, listing who they resent, why, and what it affected. That’s the work of looking at it. This prayer is the work of releasing it, and it’s something you can keep doing long after the inventory is written. For the prayer that goes with writing the list, see the Step 4 prayer.
A two-week practice
An old suggestion in recovery is to pray for the person you resent every day for two weeks, asking for them everything you’d want for yourself: health, peace, good things. Many people find it hard on day one and surprisingly freeing by day fourteen. You don’t have to mean it at first. Just do it.
For why resentments matter so much to staying sober, read resentment in recovery and the short resentment definition. If the feeling is hot and fresh rather than old and heavy, see anger in sobriety.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
Starting today
Write the person’s name on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror. Every morning for fourteen days, pray the short prayer at the top of this page. On day fifteen, notice what changed and tell your sponsor.
Common questions
Does letting go mean what they did was okay?
No. Letting go of a resentment means you stop replaying it and stop letting it run your life. It doesn't excuse the wrong, and it doesn't require you to trust that person again.
What if I let it go and it comes back?
It often will. Pray again. Many people find they have to release the same hurt many times before it loosens. Each time usually costs a little less.
Do I have to tell the person I've forgiven them?
Not necessarily. Sometimes that's wise, sometimes it isn't. Letting go happens between you and God first. Talk with your sponsor or pastor before reaching out.
Talk it through with Jimmy or Sarah — first month free
Jimmy and Sarah are AI sponsors who know the Twelve Steps and the Bible. They'll listen, walk the steps with you, and keep pointing you to real people: a meeting, a sponsor, a church.
Free to download · first month free, no card · adults 18+
After the first month, talking with Jimmy or Sarah needs Plus ($9.99/month or $59.99/year).
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