A Prayer for My Husband Who Drinks
A prayer for your husband who drinks asks God to reach him, protect your family and give you strength and wisdom. It can’t make him stop, and you are not failing if he doesn’t. Here’s a place to start: “Lord, I love my husband and I’m afraid for him. Reach him where I can’t. Keep our family safe. Give me peace, and show me what is mine to do. Amen.”
If you’re not safe: if he hits you, threatens you, or puts the kids in danger, call 911. If he drives drunk, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788). If you or he is thinking about suicide, call or text 988. Prayer and getting to safety go together.
A prayer for him
“Father, I bring You my husband, ______. You knew him before I did, and You love him more than I can. You see what the drinking is doing to him and to us. I can’t fix it. I’ve tried.
Open his eyes to the truth. Guard him on the road and at work. Keep him from the friends and places that pull him toward a drink, and lead him toward people who’ll tell him the truth in love. When he’s ready, put help right in front of him. Soften his heart toward You and toward us. Make him the man You made him to be. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
A prayer for me
“Lord, I’m tired, and sometimes I’m angry. I’ve covered for him, argued with him, cried over him. Help me stop trying to control what only You can change. Give me courage to say the hard true things calmly, and to set limits I’ll keep. Keep bitterness out of my heart. Remind me I’m not alone and that I’m not the reason he drinks. Give me rest. Amen.”
A prayer for our children
“Jesus, protect my children. Don’t let them believe this is their fault. Give them safe adults to talk to. Help me be steady for them, and show me how to explain what’s happening in words they can carry. Amen.”
Scripture to hold onto
God is close when you’re crushed.
“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
And you can hand Him the whole weight of it, again and again.
“…casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”
What helps besides prayer
- Stop covering. Don’t call in sick for him or explain away the missed dinner.
- Say it once, calmly, when he’s sober. “I’m worried about your drinking. I love you. I’ll help you find help when you want it.”
- Get support for yourself. Groups for families of alcoholics, a pastor, a counselor.
- Know your limits. Decide what you will and won’t live with, and keep to it.
If he does decide he wants to stop drinking, encourage him to see a doctor first.
Safety first. If you drink heavily every day, stopping suddenly can be dangerous. Talk to a doctor before you quit.
For signs to watch for, see signs of alcoholism. If your son is the one drinking, see the prayer for my son with addiction.
Something to do today
Pray the three prayers above once today. Then text one person you trust and tell them the truth about what’s going on at home. You don’t have to carry this alone.
Common questions
If I pray hard enough, will my husband stop drinking?
No one can promise that, and it isn't on you. God hears you and loves your husband, but your husband still makes his own choices. Pray because God is good, not because you have to earn the outcome.
Is it a sin to leave or separate from an alcoholic husband?
If you or your children aren't safe, getting to safety is right, and God doesn't ask you to stay in danger. For other questions about your marriage, talk with a pastor you trust. Don't carry that decision alone.
Should I pour out his alcohol or hide his keys?
Hiding bottles usually turns into a battle you can't win. If he's about to drive drunk, though, your safety and other people's matter more than his pride. Call 911 if he drives drunk.
Where can I get support for myself?
Groups for families of alcoholics meet in many towns and online. A pastor, a counselor or a trusted friend can help too. You need people who understand, not just people who give advice.
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