August 1: The Golden Rule and the List

Somewhere in the back of your mind there’s already a list. Faces you don’t want to think about. Names that make your stomach tighten. What do you do with them?

Jesus says it simply. As you would like people to do to you, do the same to them. Most people learned this as kids. Few of us lived it while drinking. We wanted patience, but gave none. We wanted honesty, but lied. We wanted forgiveness, but held grudges.

Step Eight in the old wording reads, “Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.” Two parts. A list. And willingness.

Here’s some good news. You don’t have to make the list from scratch. If you did a written inventory in Step Four, most of the names are already there. The people you resented. The people you feared. The people you hurt in relationships. Go back to those pages. The list is mostly waiting for you.

The second part is the harder one. Becoming willing. Not making the amends yet. That’s Step Nine. Just becoming willing. Some names you’ll be ready to face soon. Some will take time. Some might need careful thought with a sponsor or pastor before you do anything at all. That’s fine. Willingness grows.

The golden rule is a good guide for this whole month. Ask yourself, if someone had done to me what I did to them, what would I want? Probably an honest admission. Probably a real change. Probably not a big speech or excuses. Keep that in mind as you write.

This step is called brotherly love, or sisterly love, for a reason. It’s about other people. It’s about caring enough to want things made right, even when it costs you something.

One thing today

Get out your Step Four inventory. On a fresh page, write down every name that appears there. Don’t sort them yet. Just write.

A prayer

Lord, You treat me better than I deserve. Help me make an honest list of the people I’ve hurt. Give me the willingness to do for them what I’d want done for me. Amen.

See how the list and the willingness fit together on the Step Eight page.

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