Willingness in Recovery: What It Means
Willingness is readiness to do what recovery asks of you, even when you don’t want to. It’s saying yes to the next suggestion: go to the meeting, call your sponsor, write the inventory, make the amends. It isn’t the same as enthusiasm. You can drag your feet and still be willing.
Where it shows up
Willingness runs through the whole program. You need some of it just to walk into a first meeting. Step 3 asks for willingness to let God run your life. Step 6 is about getting fully ready for God to take away your defects. Step 8 asks you to become willing to make amends to everyone you harmed.
People in recovery often say willingness is the key that opens every step. When someone gets stuck, a sponsor usually looks for the spot where willingness ran out. Sometimes the person says, “I’m not willing to forgive him,” or “I’m not ready to tell my wife.” That’s honest, and it’s a place to pray.
A well-known phrase in the rooms is being “willing to be willing.” It means you can’t manage full readiness yet, but you’re open to God changing that.
For a Christian
The Bible often pictures God working on our wants as well as our actions.
“…for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.”
So you don’t have to manufacture willingness. You can ask for it. That is a prayer God loves to answer. Read more about the decision at the center of it in Step 3.
Find the stuck spot
Finish this sentence honestly: “The thing I’m least willing to do right now is ____.” Pray about that one thing every morning this week.
Common questions
What if I'm not willing yet?
Pray to become willing. Many people start with being willing to be willing. Honesty about where you are is a better start than pretending.
Is willingness a feeling?
Not mainly. It's readiness to act. You can feel scared, tired or doubtful and still be willing to make the call.
How is willingness different from willpower?
Willpower tries to force a result by yourself. Willingness opens your hands to help and direction from God and others.
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